Sacrament of Reconciliation

Prepare for confession

Whether it has been two weeks or twenty years. Take your time. Nothing you bring will surprise the priest, and nothing is beyond God's mercy.

Begin with a prayer

Come, Holy Spirit. Show me my sins as You see them, not to crush me but to free me. Give me sorrow for them, honesty to name them, and trust in the mercy of the Father who is already running to meet me. Amen.

Examination of conscience

Read slowly. Note what applies. For mortal sins, remember roughly how often. You do not need to write anything down; if you do, destroy it afterward.

II am the Lord your God; you shall not have strange gods before me.CCC 2084-2141

Have I made time for God in daily prayer, or have I let Him slip to the edges of my life?
Have I doubted or denied the faith, or been ashamed of it in front of others?
Have I dabbled in horoscopes, tarot, psychics, Ouija boards, or other occult practices?
Have I put money, comfort, success, a relationship, or my own image in God's place?
Have I despaired of God's mercy, or presumed on it, planning to sin and confess later?
Have I received Holy Communion in a state of mortal sin?

IIYou shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.CCC 2142-2167

Have I used God's name, or the name of Jesus, carelessly or in anger?
Have I sworn false oaths, or broken promises made in God's name?
Have I spoken with contempt about God, the Church, the saints, or sacred things?
Have I laughed at or joined in blasphemous jokes?

IIIRemember to keep holy the Lord's Day.CCC 2168-2195

Have I deliberately missed Mass on a Sunday or holy day of obligation without a serious reason?
Have I arrived late or left early out of laziness, or been distracted and irreverent at Mass?
Have I done unnecessary work or shopping on Sunday, keeping others from rest as well?
Have I kept the Church's fasts and abstinence (Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, Fridays of Lent)?

IVHonor your father and your mother.CCC 2197-2257

Have I neglected, disrespected, or been unkind to my parents, or failed to care for them in their need?
As a parent: have I neglected my children's religious formation, prayer, or Mass attendance? Have I been harsh, absent, or given bad example?
Have I failed in my duties to my spouse, my family, my employer, or those who depend on me?
Have I been disobedient or disrespectful toward legitimate authority, or failed in my civic duties?

VYou shall not kill.CCC 2258-2330

Have I had, encouraged, paid for, or assisted in an abortion? (The Church offers mercy and healing; bring this to the priest without fear.)
Have I harmed anyone physically, or wished harm on anyone?
Have I nursed anger, hatred, grudges, or a desire for revenge? Have I refused to forgive?
Have I abused alcohol, drugs, food, or my body? Have I driven recklessly?
Have I led others into sin by my example, words, or pressure (scandal)?
Have I been cruel, bullied, or destroyed someone's spirit with my words?
Have I considered or attempted suicide or self-harm? (Please also speak to someone you trust today.)

✝You shall not commit adultery. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife.CCC 2331-2400, 2514-2533

Have I engaged in sexual activity outside of marriage: fornication, adultery, or with someone of the same sex?
Have I used pornography, or engaged in masturbation?
Have I entertained lustful thoughts and fantasies deliberately, or looked at others with lust?
Have I used contraception or sterilization to prevent the gift of children in marriage?
Have I dressed, spoken, or behaved in ways intended to provoke lust?
Have I been unfaithful to my spouse in heart, in flirtation, or in emotional attachment?
Have I treated my body or another's as an object to be used?

✝You shall not steal. You shall not covet your neighbor's goods.CCC 2401-2463, 2534-2557

Have I stolen, shoplifted, cheated, pirated, or failed to return what I borrowed?
Have I been dishonest at work, wasted time I was paid for, or been unjust to employees?
Have I paid my debts and taxes? Have I gambled what my family needed?
Have I been greedy or envious of what others have? Have I been stingy toward the poor and the Church?
Have I made restitution for past thefts or damage?

VIIIYou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.CCC 2464-2513

Have I lied? Have I lied to cover a sin, or to gain something?
Have I gossiped, spread rumors, or revealed others' faults without necessity (detraction)?
Have I slandered anyone, damaging their good name with falsehoods (calumny)?
Have I made rash judgments about others' motives?
Have I broken confidences or failed to defend someone unjustly accused?
Have I been dishonest online, in flattery, or in silence when truth was needed?

✝Beyond the minimum: the heart of discipleship.CCC 1716-1729, 2041-2043

Have I confessed my sins at least once a year, and received Communion at least during the Easter season?
Have I been meek, merciful, and a peacemaker, or proud, harsh, and divisive?
Have I hungered for righteousness, or been comfortable with lukewarmness?
Have I ignored the poor, the sick, the lonely, the imprisoned, the stranger (Mt 25:31-46)?
Have I helped support the Church and its mission according to my means?
Is there anyone I need to forgive, or ask forgiveness from, before I approach the altar (Mt 5:23-24)?

How confession goes

1
Examine your conscience
Pray to the Holy Spirit for light, then go through the questions above honestly. Note especially any mortal sins: grave matter, full knowledge, deliberate consent (CCC 1857). Number and kind matter for mortal sins; venial sins need not be listed exhaustively.
2
Be sorry and resolve to change
Contrition is the heart of the sacrament. Perfect contrition springs from love of God; imperfect contrition (fear of hell, sense of sin's ugliness) is enough for the sacrament (CCC 1451-1453). Resolve to avoid the near occasions of sin.
3
Enter and begin
Make the Sign of the Cross and say: "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [how long] since my last confession." If it has been years, just say so. The priest has heard everything; he will be glad you came.
4
Confess your sins
State your sins simply and clearly, mortal sins first with the approximate number. Don't explain or excuse; don't confess other people's sins. If you forget one, it is forgiven with the rest; mention it next time. End with: "For these and all my sins, I am truly sorry."
5
Listen and receive your penance
The priest may offer counsel and will give you a penance (prayers or an act). Accept it. Then pray the Act of Contrition aloud.
6
Absolution
The priest says: "I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." Answer "Amen." At that moment every sin you confessed is truly gone (Jn 20:22-23; CCC 1441-1442).
7
Give thanks and do your penance
Thank God. Complete your penance soon. Then go and sin no more: the grace you received is real, and it works.

Act of Contrition

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen.

Any sincere expression of sorrow works. A shorter contemporary form is also used.

Nervous? Talk it through first.

AskCatholic can walk you through what to expect, answer questions about a sin, and help you find words. It never asks you to confess to it.

Haven't been in years?

Read the plain-English guide, then find a parish. Most hear confessions Saturday afternoons and by appointment.